married couple resolving conflict in a healthy way

How can we resolve conflict in a healthy way?

Conflict is an inevitable part of any marriage, and how couples handle conflicts can either bring them closer together or drive them further apart. Resolving conflicts in a healthy way is essential to building a strong and lasting relationship. 

Here are some simple ways to resolve conflict in a healthy way:

Approach conflicts with a positive mindset

The way you approach conflicts can have a significant impact on the outcome. Instead of viewing conflicts as negative, try to approach them with a positive mindset. Conflict can be an opportunity to learn about your partner's needs and perspectives, and to find solutions that work for both of you.

Take a break if necessary

Sometimes conflicts can become overwhelming, and it may be necessary to take a break to calm down before continuing the conversation. This is especially important if the conflict is becoming heated or emotional. Taking a break can give you time to collect your thoughts and approach the conversation more calmly.

Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements

When expressing your feelings and needs, it is important to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You never listen to me," try saying "I feel unheard when I try to express my feelings." This helps to avoid blaming or accusing your partner, which can lead to defensiveness and further conflict.

Listen actively

Effective communication requires active listening. This means paying attention to what your partner is saying without interrupting or planning your response. Make eye contact, nod, and ask questions to show that you are engaged and interested in what your partner is saying. Paraphrase what you have heard to ensure that you have understood your partner's perspective correctly.

Identify underlying issues

Conflicts are often the result of underlying issues that have not been addressed. Try to identify the root causes of the conflict, such as unmet needs or unresolved disagreements. By addressing the underlying issues, you can work towards finding long-term solutions instead of just addressing the surface-level conflict.

Work collaboratively towards a solution

Conflict resolution requires collaboration between both partners. Instead of trying to "win" the argument or prove your point, work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Brainstorm different options and consider each other's perspectives.

Seek professional help if necessary

If you and your partner are struggling to resolve conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor. A professional can help you identify underlying issues, teach you new conflict resolution skills, and facilitate constructive conversations.


Conflicts are a normal part of any marriage, but how you handle conflicts can make all the difference. By approaching conflicts with a positive mindset, taking breaks if necessary, using "I" statements, listening actively, identifying underlying issues, working collaboratively towards a solution, and seeking professional help if necessary, you and your partner can resolve conflicts in a healthy way and strengthen your relationship.

Are you ready to invest in your marriage and grow with your spouse? We offer various online and coaching programs, retreats, and services to help you build a stronger and healthier marriage with your spouse. 

Learn More

Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.